The absurdity of commercialized Christmas

A Christmas poem for you:

Twas the night before Christmas
The reindeer were sick
The elves were all worried
And so was St. Nick.

The presents were wrapped,
The BB-guns loaded,

Candy-Cane Striped Extension cords and
Toilet Tissue Holders with Phone trays are loaded

"All the sweet tea is drained"
Sighed Uncle Si Christmas Elf
As he put his empty teacup
Back on the shelf.

They all sat around
expressions were pained
"How will we deliver?!"
Santa exclaimed.

The drama was real

The situation was dire
The Festive Llama fretted
Can we fix this quagmire?

 

The Inflatable Christmas Dragon

Was of no help

Too big for the reigns,
For he was no whelp.

The Pink Christmas Flamingos
Tended to reindeer pains

All the Wreath Trolls could do was pace
As they wore Resting Grinch Face

The Light-Up Dinosaur
Sat by the blue spruce

The Magic Unicorns drank
All the Jingle Juice

If you looked at the elves,
you could see they were manic!

As sleigh launch time neared,
Everyone panicked!
 
But then Christmas was saved!
The Light-Up Flying Pigs volunteered!